


Why Does Loving You Have to Be So Terrifying?

by Zirconium40



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Feels, M/M, One Shot, Post-Episode: s01e06 Countrycide, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:15:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3501449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zirconium40/pseuds/Zirconium40
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events in the Breacon Beacons have left Captain Jack Harkness reeling in the wake of his feelings for Ianto Jones. The once steamy realationship between Jack and Ianto had come to a sudden halt after the Cyberwoman incident, and Jack doesn't know how to deal with the emotional turmoil caused by the event, compacted by how close he came to losing Ianto to a bunch of crazed cannibals. Ianto shows him how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Does Loving You Have to Be So Terrifying?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Everyone,  
> This is my first time posting on AO3. I haven't done much work myself but here is a one-shot that my roommate challenged me to do. Any constructive criticism is welcome.  
> I don't own Torchwood but I often wish I did ^_~

Drawing in a shaky breath Jack tried to settle his trembling hands; the adrenaline still hadn't worn off even after the drive back to Cardiff from Brecon Beacons. Standing in his office and looking down into the main area of the hub he watched his weary team prepare themselves for writing their reports on the incident with the cannibals.   
Jack couldn't let them rehash out the events so soon, they needed time to compose themselves and reconnect with civilization.  
"Go home everyone, don't come back in until the day after tomorrow barring emergencies. Keep your phones on, I'll call you if I need help." Jack called to them as he wandered down the steps from his office.  
Everyone gave a deep sigh of relief and prepared to head home. Owen and Gwen left together, probably to comfort each other in private. Tosh watched them go with wet eyes and a pained expression. Her emotions were raw from her ordeal and watching her crush walk off with the other woman on the team, the one who was already in a supposedly committed relationship, seemed to be the breaking point.  
Jack made a move towards Tosh but Ianto beat him there. Collapsing into Ianto's arms Tosh started to cry herself out. Jack reached the two of them and placing his hand on Ianto's back, and ignoring the way he stiffened, directed them to the couch off to the side. Jack sat down on the other side of Tosh and enfolded both her and Ianto into his arms. He did want to comfort Tosh, but he also wanted to reassure himself that Ianto was still alive and well. Ever since Lisa, the sexual relationship he had shared with Ianto had come to a sudden screeching halt. Even their day-to-day interactions were stiff and formal, lacking the their usual teasing banter and suggestive flirting. It hurt Jack greatly to have Ianto pull back from him, but he respected Ianto's obvious signals and kept his own distance.   
Tosh's sobbing soon slowed to soft hiccups and eventually soft even breaths.  
"She's tired, we should just lay her out on the couch and I'll keep an eye on her tonight. I don't think she should be alone right now." Jack murmured quietly.  
Ianto nodded mutely and shifted, slowly lowering Tosh down onto the couch. Pulling a blanket from the back of the couch Ianto covered her shoulders and retreated a few steps from her.   
Jack watched Ianto sadly, that even in this time he couldn't speak or even look at him cut Jack deep, and he started to resign himself to the fact that he would never be able to get back the closeness that they had shared before the whole cyberwoman incident. Nodding to Ianto and whispering a good night Jack proceeded up the stairs to his office. He attempted to comfort himself by saying that their splitting of ways was better off in the long run, Jack had already started falling in love with the Welsh tea boy, and if things had continued as they were it would hurt so much more when he died and left Jack alone. Never before had he hated his immortality so much, not with any of his previous lovers, watching them grow old and die. This acknowledgment scared Jack more than anything, to know in such a short time he had come to care so much for the silent shadow of the hub.  
Entering his office Jack resigned himself to a night alone, filled with nightmares of failing to save his team, of Ianto bleeding out in his arms from having his neck sliced open. Just the thought had Jack's breath catching and the feeling of panic pressing in on the sides of his head, threatening to black out his vision. As distracted as he was he was unprepared for being bodily shoved against the wall and a horny tea boy assaulting his mouth. Jack was completely lost in the invading tongue in his mouth and the two hands that seemed to have multiplied and were running all over his body.  
A break for air allowed Jack's brain to kick in and he managed to stop Ianto's assault temporarily.  
"Ianto what are you doing?"  
"I thought that was obvious Sir." Ianto responded moving his mouth to Jacks ear, sucking on the lobe eagerly.  
"No it isn't. I can't handle this Ianto, when the adrenaline wears off and the terror works out of your system, you'll remember you hate me for killing Lisa and go back to ignoring me. I can't do it Ianto, please don't make me go through that, please..." Jack trailed off brokenly, eye's wet but unable to let any tears fall.  
Ianto paused and looked into Jacks eye's cupping his face with a trembling hand.  
"Oh Jack. What have I done to you." He whispered, placing a gentle kiss to Jacks forehead. "That's not what this is. I almost died today Jack, and I had some time to think. I wasn't avoiding you because I hate you, I was avoiding you because I don't. I felt guilty because I forgave you the night you shot her. I realize Lisa died back in Canary Wharf and that I just hadn't admitted it to myself. I avoided you because if I didn't, I would have to admit that my seducing you wasn't for helping Lisa, it was for me. I was attracted to you the moment I saw you. I've never looked at a man the way I instantly started looking at you. My girlfriend was lying in a modified conversion unit drugged out on pain meds, and all I could think about was being with you. I convinced myself it was all for her, but Jack, it wasn't true. I forgive you, and now, I think I can forgive me too. Lisa wouldn't have wanted me to give up the most beautiful thing in my life over this guilt. So I don't want to waste another moment not being with you. Lisa taught me that you need to make every moment count 'cause you don't know how long you'll have with a person. I haven't felt so alive being so close to death than I have since Canary Wharf. Jack, I want you. I want to have sex with you, I want to laugh with you, and I want to sleep beside you every night. Do you want that Jack? Do you want me?" Ianto finished in a self-conscious whisper.   
"Oh God Ianto, Yes. More than anything." Jack lunged at Ianto, dominating his mouth with his talented tongue. All of Jack's self-doubt and hate melted away at the feel of this man in his arms.  
"No more talk Jack, take me. Make me yours for as long as you'll have me. Don't let me go. Show me I'm alive." Ianto husked out into Jacks ear.  
With a growl Jack gave Ianto one more passion filled kiss before going to the hatch in the floor to take them to his room. Jack slid down the ladder and Ianto came climbing after. Jack was too impatient to wait for Ianto to come down on his own. As soon as he could get a good grasp on Ianto's waist, he ripped him off the ladder and through him on top of his bed.  
The gasp of his name had Jack instantly on top of Ianto nipping and sucking at what little of Ianto's neck he could reach. Deft fingers removed the casual shirt Ianto was dressed in, revealing the expanse of chest Jack had missed for so long. Nipping at one nipple and pinching the other, Jack soon had the smaller Welshman squirming and crying out beneath him.  
"Please Jack! Please don't tease me! I need you! Please!"  
"Well with a request like that, how can I refuse." Jack panted, unbuttoning Iantos pants and discarding his own shirt. Ianto's hands were immediately at Jacks bared back and sides, touching and carressing in such a way that was both loving and passionate. Jack couldn't delay anymore no matter how much he wanted to make their reunion sex a long and slow love-making. In a matter of moments he had both Ianto and himself completely bared. The first full skin to skin contact along the lengths of their bodies had them both gasping and crying out in a pleasant agony.  
Ianto attacked Jacks mouth with his own, running his hands up and down Jacks back and wrapping his legs around Jacks waist. A deep groan resulted as Jack thrust his leaking member against Ianto's own hard cock. A minute of frantic rocking of hips followed, almost overwhelming them both.  
"Stop Jack. Too good! Please, I need to feel you in me. Take me God dammit."   
Jack lunged for the bedside table and the lube contained there-in. Jack flicked open the cap on the tube and squirted some of the lubricant onto his fingers. First teasing the puckered opening, Jack circled it with the tip of one finger, but a desperate whine from the younger man below him broke his will power and he immediately slide one finger in to the hilt. It might have been a while, but nothing could make Jack forget just how to please Ianto, and he found Ianto's prostate on the first thrust. Ianto cried out sharply, followed by another as Jack quickly slid in a second finger and then proceeded to stretch and scissor his opening.   
As he watched Ianto pant and gasp, thrusting himself down to meet Jack's fingers, Jack squirted some more lube and proceed to coat his own cock with it, hissing sharply as the swollen flesh was so sensitive and ready to burst.  
With an aggravated growl Ianto surprised Jack and flipped him onto his back. Before Jack could reorient himself he screamed out as Ianto lowered himself on Jacks cock to the hilt. Ianto paused to let himself adjust, tenderly massaging Jacks chest, and peppering sweet kisses across his face and lips.  
"Ride me Yan, ride me hard." Jack gasped out.  
"Yes Sir." Ianto gasped with a smile, and proceeded to do just that. Bouncing himself up and down on Jack's cock Ianto finally felt free from the terror of being kidnapped and held by cannibals, the terror of being in love with a man. The guilt about Lisa melted away and all that was left inside of him was Jack, both literally and figuratively.  
Jacks hands gripped his hips as Ianto was flipped over onto his back. This allowed Jack to get a better angle and he mercilessly pounded into Ianto, hitting Ianto's prostate with every thrust.  
"Oh God! Jack! More please!"  
"Ahh! Ianto!"  
Jack leant down and drew Ianto into a kiss, a kiss that Jack put all his love, all his hope, all his sadness and happiness, anger and fear. He wanted to give Ianto everything of himself that he could for as long as he could. Jack knew he was setting himself up for a heart break he wasn't sure he'd be able to recover from, but in the end it was worth it, Ianto was worth it.  
I few more deep thrusts and Ianto came, clenching around Jacks arousal triggering his own release deep into Ianto. Jack just barely managed to withdraw from Ianto's abused ass and fall in a heap beside the welshman. It was Ianto that drew Jack close into a hug and proceeded to initiate a sweet, chaste kiss upon his lips.   
"I don't know how I'm going to be able to get through the work day without thinking about your ass now Yan." Jack murmured into Iantos lips breathlessly.  
"Careful Sir. That's harassment." Ianto smiled and chuckled good naturedly.  
Jack let out a bark of laughter and then drew Ianto impossibly closer.  
"I care about you Ianto. A lot. I know I'm difficult to get close too, and I know I have a lot of secrets, but I don't want how I feel about you to be one of them. I think I love you Ianto Jones, and it terrifies me."  
"I think i love you too Jack, and it terrifies me too. But things aren't as scarey if someone's with you, so we'll be scared together, and we'll make it through." Ianto whispered back.  
Ianto snuggled into Jacks chest and promptly passed out. Jack continued to hold Ianto close, stroking his hair and back alternatively. In a few moments he would go up and check on Tosh. Then he would come back down to be with Ianto. In a few hours, he would go back to being Captain Jack Harkness, leader of Torchwood Three. However, for right now he was just Jack, a man who loves, and is loved.  
"Why does loving you have to be so terrifying?" Jack closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment, not thinking about the future, or the past, just this moment with Ianto, with the man he loved.


End file.
